Richard’s Depersonalisation Recovery Story

“I EVEN FOUND MYSELF PINCHING AND BITING MY ARMS TO REASSURE MYSELF THAT I WAS ACTUALLY AWAKE AND NOT DREAMING.”

Hello, my name is Richard from Barnsley, South Yorkshire, England.

I was always an anxious person, even from a very young age. All the way through school I was the one that would sit at the back of the classroom and avoid communication with others, which made my anxiety bearable. My anxiety really reached its peak when I was around 18 years old.

I suffered from derealisation, depersonalisation, GAD, agoraphobia, panic attacks as well as scary and disturbing thoughts, for around 4 years of my life.  It felt like my life was coming to an end and I thought I was going insane – I couldn’t enjoy anything I previously liked to do without feeling overwhelmed with anxiety.  All the things I loved to do in life, such as going on holiday, celebrating Christmas and meals out with my family became a chore.  I did my best to hide my anxiety from people but inside I was an anxious mess.

I eventually lost contact with my friends, as I was too anxious to go out and see them, even a short train ride to a neighbouring town was a huge challenge for me. All I wanted to do was to stay in my bedroom at home, obsessively researching my symptoms on the Internet. My anxiety started off initially with derealisation and later with depersonalisation.

I clearly remember one morning, I was out on a walk with my parents in the countryside and something just didn’t seem quite right. It was as though I was looking through a strange veil of fog, nothing seemed as it should be and when I looked in the mirror I couldn’t recognise my own reflection. I even found myself pinching and biting my arms to reassure myself that I was actually awake and not dreaming. The more I worried about derealisation, the more my anxiety spiralled out of control to such an extent that I eventually experience terrifying panic attacks that would suddenly and randomly appear and ruin whatever I was doing.

“I clearly remember one morning, I was out on a walk with my parents in the countryside and something just didn’t seem quite right.”

As a result I feared going outside, which grew into rather severe agoraphobia. Even when I was house bound my anxiety still managed to find things to panic about. I then started to have anxiety about harming other people; my mind finding the worst possible scenarios and then running with it- my anxiety would go into a never ending cycle of “what if” thinking – for example, what if I accidently killed someone? What if I have upset someone in some way? I became a recluse in my home and the thought of talking to my parents about it terrified me, often resulting in me snapping at the people I loved and then crying.

I went to the doctors in the village where I lived and was put on the waiting list to get CBT treatment. I was offered medication to help me “cope with” my anxiety disorder. My life was completely miserable and I was really at my wit’s end.  

“THIS WAS A TOTAL LIFE CHANGER FOR ME. I FINALLY FOUND SOMEONE WHO TALKED SENSE AND REALLY UNDERSTOOD WHAT I WAS EXPERIENCING.”

One day while obsessively searching on YouTube, I came across Charles Linden and The Linden Method. This was a total life changer for me. I finally found someone who talked sense and really understood what I was experiencing. Without hesitation I decided to purchase The Home Learning Linden Method pack and it was the best thing I have ever bought, it had a massive impact on my life.

The Linden Method team were a huge support for me, they understood all of the sensations and symptoms I was feeling and they always gave me first class guidance during my recovery. Since using The Linden Method I have become 100% anxiety free. I used to wake up and drag myself to my menial job working at a pet food shop, barely able to go outside. After I started to implement The Linden Method into my life I felt the changes very quickly and started to regain my life back, to the extent that I travelled to China alone and spent over 6 years there.

I went from having no qualifications and poor grades at school to having a First Class Degree (B. A.) in Mandarin Chinese – all because I rid myself of my anxiety and got shut of this massive drain on my life. I am now a Chinese interpreter and teacher and I love my life. I wake up every morning and think of the things that I can do in my life that challenge and excite me. I am no longer stuck in my bedroom trying to get through the next five minutes without worrying about having a panic attack.

I have now decided to become an Ambassador of The Linden Method to help those people who are suffering like I suffered. I remember what it felt like when my anxiety was at its worst, all I wanted was someone to reassure me and to tell me that what I was experiencing was normal and that I could one day be totally anxiety free and I didn’t have to “manage” my anxiety for the rest of my life. I am proof that the Linden method really does work and you can get your life back. Just trust me, you can get your life back.